Aidan remembered little of his early life. There were murky memories of travelling at night with his mother before he was left in the care of his uncle, Sarunn. Beyond that, it was all a blur. Growing up confined within a forest cabin, he was forbidden from going outside for reasons he did not understand. Sarunn was a secretive parent as well, always seeming concerned over one thing or another, but never quite worried about Aidan. There were many times he was left locked in the cabin while Sarunn disappeared for days without an explanation.
And then, one week during Aidan's twelfth year, Sarunn didn't return. Staying put in the house until the pantry's stock dwindled to nothing, Aidan was left with no other choice and eventually managed to break through one of the sturdy windows. For the first time in his young life, he had been outside.
In the distance of that dark night, he saw the lights of the nearby village Sarunn had occasionally alluded to. Following the lights, he eventually arrived at the village. But it could barely be called a village at this point. Dead bodies were strewn haphazardly on the ground, the remnants of buildings that still stood were engulfed in flame, and as Aidan stepped forward, speechless from what he saw, he heard some people yelling. An arrow flew past him, narrowly missing.
In that instant, Aidan knew he couldn't stay here. He grabbed a shortsword off a corpse and fled the scene knowing that if he didn't, he would not survive.
He wasn't sure where he was supposed to go. For a day, he followed the roads that seemed to run on endlessly, unsure where or how they would end. The second night, he saw a dim lantern light in the distance walking down the otherwise empty road. It was another person.
With only hunger on his mind, Aidan hid in the brush and gripped the shortsword tightly, resolving to rob the stranger.
As the traveller passed him by, Aidan hastily ambushed him. To his bewilderment, he was met with more force than he had ever imagined possible. The stranger deflected his initial blow with uncanny ease, and, realising that he was going to die moments from now, the draconic blood that lay within Aidan surged and caused him to undergo a partial shift, creating a barrier of scales that softened the stranger's otherwise fatal blow.
Taken aback by this, the stranger stayed his hand to get a better look at his assailant. only to realise it was merely a scrawny child.
Aidan, laying on the ground and clutching the gash across his chest in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding, did not expect the stranger to show him mercy. Even less did he expect the stranger to tend to his wounds with some strange, comforting magics.
The stranger introduced himself as Mad. He asked Aidan who his parents were and where he was from, but Aidan could provide no certain answer to these questions. But that didn't seem to bother Mad. Intrigued for reasons beyond Aidan's limited comprehension, Mad offered to let Aidan travel alongside him, to show him the rest of the world. Unable to think of an alternative to his plight, Aidan accepted.
As they wandered the land together, Aidan learned more about the eccentric swordsman named Mad. He claimed to be a retired warrior who had dedicated his life to travelling, hoping to one day find his purpose in life before it was "too late". Compared to Sarunn, Mad looked youthful, sprightly and far from being too old and weary to fight, as he would often remark he was. Aidan felt it was strange, but the manner in which Mad spoke seemed to belong to someone with far more experience and wisdom than his appearance suggested. Regardless, Mad saved his life: there was no reason to not believe his claims.
For many months, their travels would go on. During this time, Mad taught Aidan the basic fundamentals of survival and combat. But much to the teenager's dismay, Mad did not impart a single piece of his expertise in swordsmanship. Though their time together had been short thus far, as a father, a mentor, and a man, Mad had been nothing but gentle and kind to him since that terrifying night. And Aidan admired him greatly for that. He yearned to become a master swordsman and help people, just like Mad.
Yet the time would soon come where Aidan would catch another glimpse of the man who had almost killed him that fateful night. During their travels, they came across another village being waylaid by bandits, similar to the attack Aidan had stumbled into before. Now, stunned by a mix of fear and awe, Aidan watched as Mad hunted down the bandits looting the ruins of the town, killing each one with effortless efficiency. The last remaining bandit, realising he was utterly outmatched, fell to his knees and began to beg for mercy, crying uncontrollably. He did not have the opportunity to utter a coherent sentence before his head was severed from his body.
Distraught, Aidan asked Mad, who was calmly wiping the entrails from his blade, why he didn't spare the bandit. Mad slowly turned to look at Aidan, his eyes shaded with an emotion that was difficult to make out.
He explained that it was because the bandits were bad people, rotten to the core. There was no way to save them. Therefore, it was better to kill them now, before they inevitably took someone else's life again.
Aidan, still distressed, argued that there was no way they could've known the bandit would kill again in the future. Mad, however, simply smiled and patted Aidan's head. His touch was gentle and fond, and it immediately settled Aidan's doubts.
The kind Mad was back in view. But the words he spoke had a sad tint to them. Patiently, Mad explained that the act of killing was the only thing people such as bandits, and even people such as himself, could fall back on when they were backed into a corner. Someday, Mad said, he knew his own life would end in a similar way. There was no other choice for killers like him. But that was a truth he had accepted before he chose this path.
It was because of this, though, that he hoped Aidan would never choose the same.
Several years down the line, as they were heading towards a cluster of warmer provinces, a carrier bird flew down to greet Mad during their trek. Taking the message from the creature, he quickly scanned its contents and became abnormally still.
It was as if he had seen a ghost.
After a long silence, Mad told Aidan that he was being summoned back to his old post. He had to come out of retirement. The adventure had to end.
Because of such, it was against Aidan's best interest to go with him, he continued, hesitance in his voice for the first time since they had met. He offered to get Aidan set up in a town where he had a lot of personal connections. One where Aidan could seamlessly settle down and start a normal life.
Aidan refused without missing a beat. He wouldn't, he couldn't even entertain the notion. Being the closest thing to a family member or friend he had ever known, Aidan would not part ways with Mad like this. He didn't want another life that was "better". He wanted to stay with the person he cared about.
For days on end, he ceaselessly begged Mad to reconsider this decision. And suddenly, much to Aidan's surprise, Mad seemed swayed by his arguments. Without further fanfare, he agreed to bring Aidan along.
Yet right before they set off, Mad stopped Aidan again. He wanted to ask Aidan one last time, he wanted Aidan to be absolutely sure of this decision. Was this ideal of adventure and family truly worth it to him? Was he willing to give up everything he had yet to experience in this vast, unknowable world; all to remain at Mad's side? After all, Mad warned, there would be no way to return to how things were before.
Not grasping the gravity of the situation, Aidan confidently made his resolve known. He wouldn't back down from this new frontier.
The duo soon found themselves at Resovinasis, the realm of the gods. Aidan would find out his true heritage was that of a fenvasi, as a son of the earth god Unaron. It was also here that Aidan began to piece together the enigma of Mad's past life. This was where Mad had retired from. And in this place, Mad had been quite the important individual.
Upon "retiring", Mad had left a vacancy in his position as a leader. But after his replacement went missing, there remained no further candidates to fall back on besides Mad. Considered by many there to be a hero of legend, Aidan soon learned about how Mad spent much of his life tirelessly fighting the vesera faction, working as an ultimate force of good. Back in his prime, he had amassed many storied accomplishments to his name, saving countless lives through his brave deeds.
The tales of Mad's exploits made Aidan dream of one day achieving the same. He wanted to be a great hero as well.
Excited, he shared these thoughts with Mad. There was no approval in Mad's response, though, and his typically composed expression was quickly shadowed by a troubled frown.
The words he then said to Aidan would echo ominously for the decades to come:
"A magnanimous hero only exists in the eyes of those he saved. When one man doomed to death is granted life by another man's hand, he loses the ability to see the truth of his saviour. From that moment on, he can no longer grasp the concept that you're just another coldblooded killer, not any different than the ones they've come to despise."
And yet Aidan persisted, undeterred as always. He desperately hoped to follow in Mad's footsteps, convinced that heroism was the purpose of his life. Being the born from the highest class of arva, Aidan was destined to be Mad's equal, or even his successor.
Mad, despite knowing this all too well, refused to accept this. He would continue toiling away to shield Aidan from deeper involvement in the world of fenvasi, determined to somehow spare the boy from what waited ahead.
But there came the day when Mad, too, would fall. Mad himself had said it would happen, didn't he? Still, the incident shocked every individual in Resovinasis. But none moreso than Aidan.
He had wholeheartedly believed that when Mad left to fight, he would always come back safely. There wasn't any fenvasi who could match Mad's skills in combat. This was established time and time again. And yet, for the first and final time, Mad had left him behind.
Without so much as the chance to say goodbye.
Griefstricken or not, the gods soon summoned Aidan into their presence. There was no choice on his part: Aidan was to become the next Grand Commander, a role dictated by tradition to be passed through the bloodlines of naught but the eldest divinities. It was his destiny.
Aidan understood little of what was to come. He hadn't even had time to process Mad's death, and everything else was secondary to that. Ever naive and inexperienced, it didn't occur to him that things could no longer go on as before.
At least, not until Igann tasked him with the execution of a fenvasi traitor. As the man was brought in front of him, Aidan felt completely paralysed. Time seemed to freeze. The rapid beat of his heart echoed in his head like thunder, and within the whirlwind of noise, it felt as if he could hear the traitor's terrified heartbeat as well.
He couldn't kill this man. He had never ended another's life, not even in a combat situation. In fact, his late mentor expressly had forbade him from doing so. Mad always took it upon himself to deal the finishing blow.
Faced with the silent criminal before him, Aidan began to see that there was no one to fall back on anymore. People were watching. He was all alone. And orders from the Lord Divinity were absolute.
When he brought his sword down on the vulnerable man's neck, watching as his hand forced steel against rupturing flesh, a strange sensation dawned on him. The act didn't bother him as much as he thought it would.
In fact, he began to wonder why Mad had been so concerned in the first place. It wasn't hard to do the right thing, and it didn't hurt like he thought always thought it would.
The conversation he had with his mentor years ago flickered through his mind.
People who had killed once would always continue to kill, repeating their crimes until they no longer could. If this traitor was spared, someone else would pay the price. It could have been a helpless fenva. A desperate orphan. A child's beloved mentor.
Much to the approval of those observing the execution, their new Grand Commander seemed to have settled quite well into his role. He acted with the intention, resolve, and grace expected of a leader.
And as the man's body slumped to the ground, Aidan stood there wordlessly, his stare intensely fixated on the torrent of blood spilling over the floor tiles.
From that point on, the years gradually mixed into a blur for Aidan. It felt reminiscent of a vague, yet painful memory; walking forward on the empty road at night, taking step after endless step to an unknown place with naught but a stranger's blade and a will to survive.
Then one day, while on an errand to collect any remaining personal effects from the cabin he and Sarunn used to inhabit, he came across a dying girl in the woods.
Though he had no intentions to acknowledge her, he felt a cold shiver run down his spine as he noticed the remnants of a novice draconic shift on her. The sight of those too-familiar scales, many of which remained as shards painfully trapped just beneath the skin, it gave him pause.
He thought back on his first draconic shift, how he had almost died before ever comprehending its meaning. And then he thought of Mad, who had brought him to Resovinasis. At the same time, he thought of all which came after that, a journey that had ultimately left him jaded and alone.
But before he could reason to walk on, he thought of how he felt before he met Mad. Prior to that day, even as a boy locked away from the rest of the world, he had begun to believe that meaning could not be found by someone such as himself. Much like himself, he had thought the world would remain empty until the end of its days.
And the bitterness that ate him alive even now, it still was a mercy compared to that. The lack of anything. The all-consuming emptiness. And, clutching those emotions tight within his chest, he decided to stop and assist the injured girl.
After all, if Mad had been here in his stead, this surely was the decision he would've made.